Petals on a wet, black bough.

Currently: sitting in the apt, drinking a day old Coke, looking at cameras, dresses, and waiting for work.

So...I ended up talking to my manager at work. He so graciously offered me the chance to have every Wednesday and Thursday off from work. Needless to say, I obliged.

So I'll be working 2:00 - 9:00 on Mondays, 2:30 - 9:00 on Tuesdays and Fridays, and then have every other Saturday off. And as always, relishing my Sundays off, as well.

Yes, my paychecks will dwindle. But...some things are more important than money. And that includes sanity.

This new schedule begins this week and I cannot wait to get a bajillion things done on Wednesday and Thursday, including getting a very big start on my ten-page Shakespeare paper, figuring out my recitation for said class, reading in the sun, and just simply taking a chill pill. Ahhh. Breath of relief.

It is very, very rainy today. I love the way nature looks on cloudy, precipitative days. The green grass and trees are so poignant against a backdrop of gray. It's very relaxing (and somewhat lethargic). This week is predicted to be very gloomy which in some ways I loathe but in others I feel is a blessing. Simply because I get more things done when it's rainy outside and I don't have that constant distraction to sit in the sun and do nothing.

Another thing that I'll be doing is volunteering at the Refugee and Immigration Center. I don't know when I'll start but I'm very excited. Yadda yadda yadda I love cultures and people and blah. But I feel as if that's already a given. Also, it looks really good to the admissions at the Peace Corps. Hooray for moi.

Another thing on my list of to-do's is take the Praxis to get admitted into the school of education at USF. I would be lying if I said that I wasn't nervous. The reading and writing is not what I'm worried about. It's the math portion. My life always revolves around math. Christ. On that note, I have summer math school on the day AFTER my 21st birthday. Can we say, uh oh? Yeah, we can.

And then, alas, we have Portland.

Portland, I cannot wait to see you and frolic around your beautiful city on a bike, with my camera, and with my best friend.

He's very excited, as well.

I feel as if when I leave Sioux Falls for a place like you I'll never want to come back. And I might end up staying. Bahaha I won't but I'd like to. Somedays...I would really, really like to.

Thou nature, art my goddess.

So I received some marvelous news today.

I will be graduating a FULL SEMESTER earlier than what I planned on!

Although I love USF I don't particularly want to spend more time there than what I need to...ahem...with almost $20,000 a year in tuition, I think my choice is understandable. This is a huge deal for me. I thought that I would be an undergrad for 5 years. Now it's only 4 and a half. I'll take it, by god.

Also, my work situation is just not...well...working. They told me that my hours would be drastically cut. I thus made plans to move out of my apartment that I had worked so hard to live in. I was financially independent and that was important to me. Then...they didn't cut my hours.

Not only did I move OUT of my apartment (and INTO my boyfriend's) but I was planning on having some more time to focus on my studies. Well...they failed at cutting my hours. And now I'm feeling stupid to have moved/made plans accordingly.

I shouldn't be complaining because a lot of my friends are struggling to even FIND jobs. I, on the other hand, am struggling with this balancing act of work, school, and finding time for me.

So I have decided to change my schedule at work. I'm going to begin working 4:00 to 9:00 every day instead of 2:30 to 9:00. It doesn't sound like much, but trust me, that hour and a half could be half of a research paper or Act II of King Lear.

I'm feeling pretty relieved at my final decision. Even though there's only about a month and a half of school left, I need to focus and not be so scatter brained. I should have done this a long time ago. And next year will be even worse. I'm taking 2 extra classes then I usually take and I need to get my poop in a group, as they say.

Plus I'm in COLLEGE. This is the time to be poor. Duh.

Anywho. Had to vent. Funny because just yesterday I was saying how things were perfect. Jinxed myself on that one. :p

Monday, Monday, Monday.

Red Hot Drops

My lack of blogging is somewhat of a disappointment. Not to fear, I have some free time on this lovely Sunday afternoon and thus will blog my little heart out.

My life in the past couple of weeks has been comparable to a dream. Beautiful weather, changing my "fat kid" tendencies, and just enjoying myself. I'm relishing in this comfortable time because in just a few short weeks, my life will go from easy-going to full-on crazy. Finals. Final projects. 10 page research papers. The life of a double major. I would be lying if I said I didn't enjoy it a little. I do...I love being busy and surrounding myself with things I love. That's the craziest part...I am the biggest nerd I know. :)

I wish I had more to write about. More interesting topics to converse about. To my amazement, things keep getting better and better. It's good to be back.

I'm just so excited to start summer. I will be taking the dreaded summer school class from June 2 to July 2. Not too bad.

I thought that that this summer would really suck balls because I didn't think that any of my close friends from O'G would be here. But alas, Courtney, Corbin, Dan, and most everyone else will be in S.F. for the summer! The only thing that sucks is that Danielle will be in Missouri. :( I plan on making at least one trip to Columbia to visit her. Fer sher. :)

Things on the home front are loverly. Justin and I have been having fun in our little home and getting super pumped for Portland. 95 days until complete awesomeness. (!!!) I can hardly contain my excitement. I NEED to get out of here. I love Sioux Falls. I always will. My life is so beautiful here but sometimes you need to leave to gain more. Sometimes I feel like my creativity is stifled here. I'm a writer. A painter. Someone who thrives off of change. I learned long ago that change in inevitable. Instead of being scared, embrace it. Throw yourself into potentially frightening situations. They're often the most beautiful. Hence, most of my life.

I just got done walking with my mother. We talked a lot about my life. Where I'm going and what I'm doing. She's finally accepted that I'm going into the Peace Corps after college. It took her a long time. I understand her hesitation. It's a scary thought to live so far away for 2 and a half years from my family and the ones I love. But it's something that I feel will make me into the person I need to be. I've wanted to do this since I was 14. I didn't go out searching for it; it found me. This chance to give up my needs for others'. To become apart of something bigger than myself. It's a beautiful thing.

"slowly draining with no pain. sinking and drinking in a thick way"

Agenda for the week:

Work

Start research paper for Shakespeare (and everything else for that class)

Register for classes

Apply to the Education school

Basically get everything done that I need to, and then some.

But also...write, walk, talk, wine, read, play, paint, kiss, hug, love. Ya know, the most important stuff. :)

What a cute little fire escape/balcony. Mine?

Happy April ♡

This is the story of your red, right ankle

A small hiatus from blogging. I've been busy with being sick, working, reading mass amounts, and living. The usual.

I've made a decision to stop being a fat kid and start eating better. I've been going on walks with Liz and I'm trying to stop eating so many midnight snacks. Or, in my case, midnight meals. Haaa. I wish I were joking.

Nothing too drastic but summer is coming up and I don't want to be all worried about looking gross. It's silly and trivial but I'm a girl and I want to not grow out of my pants...width wise.

So we'll see. Habits are hard to quit but...I'll just try to make new habits. Healthier habits. Right? Right!

In other news, two days until Spring Break! Yahoo! Danielle is coming home and I'm very, very excited to see her. She's been a stable friend throughout most of my life, even though we've been about 8 hours apart for the last three years. I ruv her. We've decided not to go to Omaha, but to go to Kansas City towards the end of May to see Conan do a stand-up show. I LOVE CONAN. And I've never been to Kansas City. I say that's a better trip than Omaha. Fer sure.

I'm feeling the warmth

I've seen many rainy days lately

Quilts are one of my many obsessions

Some fly boots

Chan, I've loved you so many years. Be mine?

Happy Wednesday! Muahhhh.

Hey, I love you.

So tired today. Probably because I stayed up until 2 a.m. this morning...and overslept so I only had 1 cup of joe before heading off to class.

I got home from school at 11:30 today and just cozied right up to mister man, who was still fast asleep in bed. I laid there for a while but knew that if I were to nap, then I would feel even worse. I'm not a big nap taker. I often compensate for lack of sleep with coffee. I've been this way for years.

It's so comforting to just lay next to someone you love. The joys of co-habitating.

I love it thus far. I love having someone to share my day my day with even if it was sucky.

I love the little things and thoughts that we talk about right before drifting off to sleep.

He's so nice that he always comes to bed with me, even if it's before midnight.

Justin is a notorious night owl so for him to follow me into bed is so sweet.

I also loving little things like going to the grocery store together. And how we all too often sit on the couch and watch t.v. together for hours. And when we paint he is so inspiring and talented. I always complain that he's better than me. But really, he makes me want to do better and strive for more. I think that's a good quality to have in a relationship; inspiration and learning. And (I know this is silly) when we enjoy bottles of wine together, we laugh and take pictures and talk, talk, talk. Did I mention he also has amazing taste in music, film, photography, and literature?

And when we spend time apart, I love the stories we tell each other of the ordinary events that happened in our day. Well, I should say that my events are ordinary. His are usually pretty hilarious and awesome.

Oh, and he's smokin'.

This is gushy...but I just have to write about it. He makes my days. I mean, he's my best friend.

I hope he doesn't mind that I'm writing about him on my super popular blog. Haha (jokes). Sometimes it's just good to look at everything and write about it. And I like to write. And he's my topic today. : )

I never knew I could posses that fatal kind of charm.

Monday. Hmmmm. Always an interesting day.

I saw my Shakespeare professor and he told me that I did really well on my paper that I wrote. Phew! I was so nervous! But that was a really great way to start my week. Sometimes I psych myself out when writing about things that I love. I always want to convey some sort of air and usually end up flubbing it altogether. But I think that I'm starting to really hone in on my voice and what works for me and what doesn't. I'm very pleased. :)

This weekend was pretty good. I spend most of it sleeping mixed with a dinner for Courtney's birthday and random get-togethers with friends that are home for Spring Break. It's unfortunate that USF doesn't have Spring Break for another two weeks but that's okay because Danielle will be home from Missouri! I miss her a lot and I think we're going to go to Omaha (funds providing).

Despite the rainy, gloomy weather I'm feeling rather optimistic. For the next 5 weeks I have every Friday off because I'm volunteering at the Multicultural Center for their Native Reads program. Most everyone knows that I'm in love with Native American culture and this is a great opportunity for me to get involved and spend some time with the kids and their culture. I'm doing it for my Practicum for my Human Relations class. It's going to be a challenging, exciting, rewarding experience.

...and it doesn't hurt to have three-day weekends.

Everything feels so good right now. At this spot in my life. Every door that has been closed has been replaced with something even better.

For the better part of last two years I was investigating a lot in myself. I went through a lot of struggle with my identity and trying to find the right balance for a lot of different things in my life. I was growing. And it hurt.

I made a lot of mistakes and was really hard on myself for that. I'm finally starting to find my identity; my niche. I've made some headway and then again, I took a few steps backward in attaining what makes me happy and whole.

But it's all about the journey. I feel like everything I've done and am doing is going to help me in the future; as a friend, a teacher, a daughter, a student, and a writer.

It can be a lonely road to self discovery and being an artist in your work. But it's important and rewarding to investigate the inter-relationship between the forces within us and the forces pushing on us. Like, fighting for what you want and being selfish sometimes. Being crazy! Throwing caution to the wind and experiencing things that push you farther. Doing things you don't want to do because it's out of your comfort level. Being a little weird.

It's important to read and write. To be curious and to surround yourself with things that just plain make you happy. I like where I'm at. But I also can't wait to get further.

Justin takes really flattering photos of me. :)

I love them

Oh, Dan.

My little birthday girl

Mister mannn. :)

So hooray for the second week of March!

All is lush, all wild, all alive.

It's beginning to look a lot like...

SPRING!!!

Yes, oh yes it is. I woke up this morning to find it sunny, warm, and very very wet (with all of the snow/ice that's been melting). What a great way to start off March!

I've been getting antsy with this whole Spring thing looming and looking for some new clothing to wear to celebrate. It's a bit too cold now...but in a month or two, it'll be beautiful enough to wear gorgeous clothes and not be hidden under fourteen layers of long sleeved shirts, sweaters, and coats. Probably the most exciting thing for me EVER.

And of course I need to find the best Birthday Dress EVER. I have a habit of wearing a dress every year on my Bday. I don't generally wear dresses but when it's your birthday, you have every right to glam it up a notch.

Here are some options...

The first few are from Anthropologie and the last 4 are from U.O. I think they have some of the cutest dresses that are playful and age appropriate. I love flowers and anything that can kind of look granny-esque/50's housewife-y. I'm sure I'll find many more that I want. But these are what's on my radar right at this moment.

I'm also on the lookout for floral tanks that I can wear with cardigans. I'm so silly. But I can't help what I love. I'll be spending this weekend searching for said tanks. Yippee!

Back to the real world. I have two papers due this week and mucho grande amounts of reading. As per usual. Not to mention work, work, work. I get to work my old schedule, 2:30 to 9, everyday this week. I'm happy, but also a little burnt out from moving. I wish I had some extra time to spare but alas, I'm a working girl.

Also on the agenda:

getting a bird book/beginning my painting experiment

scheduling an eye appointment (and getting some new specs!)

laundry

tidying up the new pad

spending time with Court for her 21st!

SHOPPING

La de daaaa...

Just some things. Gotta run.

♡