I don't give a good god damn

Today was a blah day.

I've started thinking about the New Year's resolution. Something I always attempt to do (like every other American) and end up failing miserably.

This year it's gonna be different.

Not because I'm going to succeed, but because I'm resolving to live fully. I'm gonna do what I want to do. And fuck the rest. So it's nothing in particular...just a new way of life.

Right now it's 1:36 a.m. and I have dentist appointment tomorrow. Bummer. I'm also watching Ace Ventura: Pet Detective. LOVE.

I'm tired but hate trying to fall asleep.

I went to dinner with Lisa and then to DQ for a Blizzard. Then to Lisa's house for a beer while we listened to Peter Yorn.

I'm really excited to have her in my life this semester. Since she graduated and will be living in Sioux Falls, I'll finally have a partner in crime that I enjoy. :)

I definitely have the blahs today. Nothing's wrong (except for the usual) or anything. I think it could be due to a few things:

1) My interim class starts on Monday

2) I'm constantly tired because sleeping has been difficult

3) It was cloudy today

4) I had to ask Justin to pay his share of this month's rent...even though he's not living here...and I broke up with him...and it's a fucking shitty thing to do. I will pay him back by the end of January, but still. It's not the most pleasant thing to ask of your ex-boyfriend who is probably trying to forget about your existence.

5) Did I mention I'm exhausted?

I also need to start studying for my Praxis II. Not exciting. I need to figure out the money situation for the next couple of months. I need to figure out something to do for New Year's. I need to sleeeeep.

I also want to hang out with all of my friends before they leave and go back to their college homes. I pretty much have seen everyone but it never feels like I see them enough while they're back. I know they have their own lives and people to see, but I just want to hang out with them and love them and stay here forever even though I know they can't. That is a separate kind of heartbreak that lives on, no matter how much time passes.

I need to stop chain smoking.

And casually drinking. It hurts my bank account and my tummy.

I need to finish this book.

I need to do the dishes (still).

I need to not have any cavities tomorrow at the dentist.

Good-night.